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"Tam said "Tell me more!" You know a Monk is one women feel safe to 'hit on': safely neuteredand impregnable, whereas, in fact the monk, or me especially, I alwaysfelt peculiarly vulnerable!" Denial means the Feminie is hugely alluring, and what can you do aboutit? Nothing! So the best strategy is to Bolt - to 'not be around'." When a woman was there, I would be down there in the stench stompingpig's slosh. No one bothered me!" Why did I hide, because I was so affected but could do nothing, I wasimprisoned behind the thick walls of taboo, Solitary Confinement in aself reinforced cell."I just stopped raving and they stared at me. I filled my glass andsipped some more."Tam you said to me in the early days, that, I never looked at you! Whyso? Because I could not stand more torture." Then since I have been here, night after night as I brush my teeth, Isee my mirror images change. How do you run, where can you run whengreatest fear emerges as yourself!" Hey Doc, fill my glass again, and. . odd! I even bought myself a penis-shaped vibrator off of the Internet when I was fourteen, so I would know what it felt like to have something inside me; but I never had an orgasm using it! And then when I was sixteen I asked a close male friend to have sex with me ... and he did his best, bless him; but he came and I just got bored! Apparently ... and I've read about it, of course ... it's not unusual for asexual woman to have sex with someone they care about; but they do it to please the other person, not themselves! So I could sleep with you, Alan; and you could, to put it crudely, fuck me, or I could bring you off; and I might even enjoy it ... but only from your pleasure; not my own!"So basically what I'm saying, Alan, is that we can be good friends and socialise if we want to; but if you want a girlfriend and sex, don't let me hold you back ... I'll even help set you up with any female friends I make here!"When Stella stopped talking, she waited expectantly for his response.
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